How To Prepare Fried Brain: Final Exam for Bones

There is an interesting point in studying where one has to think about the most basic things (like, how do I spell my name?) but the most complicated things just seem to flow out of you (like, oh, yeah, I can write the code for that complicated program to spit out X graph, no problem!). There is, of course, the reverse problem when you sleep, because sleep apparently allows you to be able to spell your name, but makes you forget long complicated things (like, in this case, how heads fit together and what terms are diseases and which ones are body parts). Then there is the even more complicated issue of not being able to fall asleep because you begin to wonder: Why do we spell “potatoes” that way? The longer you look at it, the more wrong it looks. And why do we pronounce pints as pie-ntz instead of pin-tz?

Eventually, you just end up napping in weird places and forgetting to eat until the only thing you can get are potato pies from Jackie Lennox and you eat them and the fries with ranch dressing powder that your parents sent you. Incidentally, that powder is like a treasure among expats, and if for some reason you are moving back to the states, the remainder of your hoard is like the greatest gift you can give another expat. The rest of the world needs ranch dressing, people.

Anyway. Back to bones.

Good lord, they’re going to kill me. Not only have all the most complicated bones been saved for last (which, incidentally, are the bones I am the least familiar with because I’ve never studied them piece by piece before), but I’m having siding problems. Major siding problems. Basically, when you side a bone, you are figuring out if it goes on the skeleton’s left or right side.

I have trouble with lefts and rights.

First, it started out with the fact that I am left dominant. The phrase “left dominant” to me is actually oxymoronic, because the rest of the world’s dominant side is right, and somewhere as a very small thing the words “right”, “dominant”, and “strong” got stuck together, so to me my right side is my left side because my left side is dominant and in general a wee bit stronger than my right, so my left is my right, but by the time I get over to my right I remember it’s actually my right, not my left, so my left is my right and my right is my right, but it’s actually my left because its not as strong as my right, which is really my left. Do you see how this is confusing for me???

And then, with skeletons, it gets just that much more complicated. Because you aren’t siding things on your left or right, you’re siding them on the skeleton’s left or right. Which means I get to go through the entire paragraph above from the skeleton’s point of view, too. Then I realized I could just give it the side I initially think of (because if my right is actually my left, then it would really be the skeleton’s right), but then I can never remember if I was starting with the right (as in correct) side or not.

In short, give me a box of bones. I will lay them out perfectly. Just don’t ask me which side is which.

Guess what about a third of my final exam is going to be on….

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5 Responses to How To Prepare Fried Brain: Final Exam for Bones

  1. IntenseGuy says:

    I am sure you did all right! Oh, I’m sorry I should have left that comment unsaid. Right?

  2. IntenseGuy says:

    I’m sure you did al-RIGHT! Oh, I probably shouldn’t have LEFT this heavy-HANDED comment!

  3. IntenseGuy says:

    I’m sure you did al-RIGHT! Oh, I probably shouldn’t have LEFT this heavy-HANDED comment!

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